Lady Macbeth
by angelaumbrello
Summary: CatherineGil. Post Stip strangler. Catherine deals with the emotional toll of killing Goggle.


Title: **Lady Macbeth.**

Author: Angela U.

Spoilers: Strip Strangler, just to be safe.

Rating: CSI-1

Disclaimer: CSI and any Shakespearean quotes are not the property of me.

Summary: Post Strip Strangler. Catherine deals with the emotional repercussions of killing a man with the help of Gil.

A/N: I don't know about you all but the ending of SS always left me with a bit of a bad taste in my mouth. I just seemed wrong that Catherine killed a man and then went out to breakfast. Or maybe that's just me.

I seem to be on a bit of a Shakespeare kick, this is my second fic inspired by one of his quotes – and I don't like Shakespeare. The second quote at the end is from Hamlet.

Thanks to Sydney for the beta.

_"Out, damned spot! Out, I say!" - ( Macbeth Act V, Scene I)._

Never doubt, never look back that's what she had said at the diner earlier that morning. Then her lips pulled back into what was suppose to be, a smile of reassurance, but it never reached her eyes. It was meant to alleviate him of any guilt or concern, instead it looked forced – almost feral. He would have questioned her further right there and then, had the others not returned. In the end he was forced to push all his doubts and concerns to the back of his head. He vowed though, to visit her at her home, make sure she really was okay.

Before he even took his first step into her house, he could tell that not all was well. The hairs on the back of his neck rose as he easily entered her domicile. Her front door was unlocked and opened wide, allowing easy access to any dangerous criminal that walked by. Her gear, including her gun laid half-hazardly on the hallway floor, as if she was doing her best to rid herself of anything that reminded her of the job.

From the hallway, he saw the steam as it rose from the sink and heard the water as it hits the metal below. She stood with her hands under the faucet, as she tried frantically to scrub something off, her face was twisted in a mask of pain, as arm muscles strained to remove a stain that only she could see.

"Catherine," he called out in shock, as he quickly made his way to her side. After he grabbed her hands, he pulled them from under the running water and turned the faucet off. With her thin hands cradled in his larger ones, he could see how red and raw they were. Several small scratches and larger cuts were already visible and bleeding. The coppery smell of her blood quickly made its way to his nose which caused his stomach to turn.

His suspicions were correct, despite her bravado, Catherine was bothered by having to kill Syd Goggle. Why else would she have tried to scrub off six layers of skin from her hands. He just hadn't realized until now how bad it was, not until he saw her trying to scour away imaginary blood from her hands.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, before she pulled her hands back. For one brief second she stared at him with wide vulnerable eyes, before her wall rose and her bright blue eyes turned to a steely sapphire.

"I was worried about you."

"You should worry about yourself more. You could have gotten killed."

With her back turned to Gil she ran her hands under cold water, giving him the not so subtle clue that his help was unneeded – unwanted. She hadn't fooled him though. He heard the slight gasps of pain as water hits open cuts, saw the red-tinted water as it swirled down the drain. His heart constricted in pain. He didn't know what to do, usually in a situation like this _she _was the one with the words to sooth and comfort.

"You can go now. I'm fine."

"No, you're not."

"How would you know?" she growled. Turning the faucet off she got some paper towels and gently wiped her hands dry. Gil watched her, his helplessness grew by the second and for a brief time he stared at the front door. Should he stay or should he go?

"You're my friend." Gil finally answered. He pulled his eyes from the door and rested them on Catherine's tear-streaked face. "I don't like seeing you like this."

Catherine saw right through him, she knew he would rather be anywhere but near a crying woman – especially her.

"Then leave, like you usually do and you won't have to see me like _this_. You can go home pretend nothing is wrong and stick your head back into the sand!"

Stunned at the venom in her voice Gil took a step back. He would like for nothing more then to fulfill her request and leave. Once again he looked at the door, it would be easy for him to walk out and drive away. Tuck this incident away with all the others to never see the light of day again. ' She's strong. She doesn't need anyone. She'll get over it and return to work and everything will be back to normal, ' he thought to himself. ' She doesn't need me. '

But he couldn't leave her, his feet won't obey his brain to move.

Catherine walked over to the door and opened it – dared him to abandon her. She glared at him for a full minute, before she turned away and went into the livingroom.

She stared through her bay windows, as she mentally counted the seconds until she saw him climb into his truck and leave. Then and only then would she allow herself to fully give into the mixed emotions that swirled around in her head.

Grissom surprised both himself and her when instead of walking through the door, he closed it. A second shock came when he went over to Catherine and gathered her in his arms, squeezed her tightly to his chest.

"I'm not going anywhere – not this time."

She struggled to get out of his grip, but he refused to let go. Finally, after several seconds she stopped, and buried her face into his chest. Her thin pale arms encircled him, as if he was her last life line.

They stood like this for a time in silence. Catherine gripped Gil with all her might while Gil rubbed her back, and rocked her back and forward

"I'm sorry Catherine," he said in a soft voice. "Sorry for putting you in that position. Sorry for not always being there for you, even though you have always been there for me . . . I . . . Do you regret killing him? Do you regret saving me?"

Catherine calmed down briefly, before she pulled away from his chest momentarily – the better to look him in the eye. "No, God help me I don't regret it one bit, and that's what scares me. It's one thing to say you'd kill to protect the people you love it's another to actually do it. But I couldn't let him kill you. Just the thought of losing. . . you . . . ," she replied before she buried her face back into his chest. "You do know I love you, right? Even if you don't feel the same."

He kissed her on the top of her head as he tightened his arms around her. He conveyed in his own quiet way what he felt for her, as he whispered into her ear, "_Doubt that the stars are fire, Doubt that the sun doth shine, Doubt that truth be a liar, But never doubt that I love."  
_

The End


End file.
